Thoughts for the day. Forgiveness. And admitting to holding a grudge. You can’t move on till you pass it.

I would like to think I take most things in my stride, that I let things go, if I were to think that truly, I’d be living a lie. Forgiving. It can be a really really hard thing to do, it’s not necessarily about forgiving someone openly, it’s about forgiving yourself. That’s where it comes from, that’s who needs healing. I have a lot of things that I hold on to.

Thinking about opportunism last night. Opportunism vs Idealism. If you don’t in some part, take on a level or opportunism then you allow yourself to be walked all over. Doormat anyone? But too much in either way and well, on one hand you or lets be frank here, I, would feel that I am being not my best, it goes against my core self. The other hand, doormat. People will continue to use and disrespect and take all for themselves.

This is almost sounding a little religious, and I guess it could be, in a way.

Rules to live by.

Where do you find a balance, where you both uphold your being and uphold others? Or do you take the road of look out for thyself and let others take care of their own-selves. Opportunist.

Things to say? Things to think? Things to do?

Just things.

Study is starting back this week, I think actually yesterday. I’m still waiting on confirmation from head to department as to what my timetable is this semester. So many RPL’s and bits of this course and bits of that and changes of times with classes. Who the fuck knows this stuff. And can I be bothered with it.

What I want at the moment is downtime, time to do house like things. Time to look at new blinds, research carpet. Walk the dog, cook yummy food. Play with my camera.

India is fast approaching, the rush to get ahead for the month I’m away has begun. I will get everything covered for when I’m gone. I will.

I used to write a lot. I don’t know why I stopped. Things got busier? But things are always busy, it’s a poor excuse. Truth, I just stopped one day, I stopped sharing. This takes me back to many years ago, as a teenage girl, sitting in the school counselors office. Imagine all of your emotions in this jar, you keep putting more of them into the jar, eventually it will overflow. If you put a lid on it, it will explode. Releasing is important for self maintenance.

Via http://1000funerals.tumblr.com/

Via http://milk-sockets.tumblr.com/post/16440837709